THE TENANT OF WILDFELL HALL
PART 5
CHAPTER IX
Though my
affections might now be said to be fairly weaned from Eliza Millward, I did not
yet entirely relinquish my visits to the vicarage, because I wanted, as it
were, to let her down easy; without raising much sorrow, or incurring much
resentment,—or making myself the talk of the parish; and besides, if I had
wholly kept away, the vicar, who looked upon my visits as paid chiefly, if not
entirely, to himself, would have felt himself decidedly affronted by the
neglect. But when I called there the day after my interview with Mrs.
Graham, he happened to be from home—a circumstance by no means so agreeable to
me now as it had been on former occasions. Miss Millward was there, it is
true, but she, of course, would be little better than a nonentity.
However, I resolved to make my visit a short one, and to talk to Eliza in a
brotherly, friendly sort of way, such as our long acquaintance might warrant me
in assuming, and which, I thought, could neither give offence nor serve to
encourage false hopes.
It was
never my custom to talk about Mrs. Graham either to her or any one else; but I
had not been seated three minutes before she brought that lady on to the carpet
herself in a rather remarkable manner.
‘Oh, Mr.
Markham!’ said she, with a shocked expression and voice subdued almost to a
whisper, ‘what do you think of these shocking reports about Mrs. Graham?—can
you encourage us to disbelieve them?’
‘What
reports?’
‘Ah, now!
you know!’ she slily smiled and shook her head.
‘I know
nothing about them. What in the world do you mean, Eliza?’
‘Oh, don’t
ask me! I can’t explain it.’ She took up the cambric
handkerchief which she had been beautifying with a deep lace border, and began
to be very busy.
‘What is
it, Miss Millward? what does she mean?’ said I, appealing to her sister, who
seemed to be absorbed in the hemming of a large, coarse sheet.
‘I don’t
know,’ replied she. ‘Some idle slander somebody has been inventing, I
suppose. I never heard it till Eliza told me the other day,—but if all
the parish dinned it in my ears, I shouldn’t believe a word of it—I know Mrs.
Graham too well!’
‘Quite
right, Miss Millward!—and so do I—whatever it may be.’
‘Well,’
observed Eliza, with a gentle sigh, ‘it’s well to have such a comfortable
assurance regarding the worth of those we love. I only wish you may not
find your confidence misplaced.’
And she
raised her face, and gave me such a look of sorrowful tenderness as might have
melted my heart, but within those eyes there lurked a something that I did not
like; and I wondered how I ever could have admired them—her sister’s honest
face and small grey optics appeared far more agreeable. But I was out of
temper with Eliza at that moment for her insinuations against Mrs. Graham,
which were false, I was certain, whether she knew it or not.
I said
nothing more on the subject, however, at the time, and but little on any other;
for, finding I could not well recover my equanimity, I presently rose and took
leave, excusing myself under the plea of business at the farm; and to the farm
I went, not troubling my mind one whit about the possible truth of these
mysterious reports, but only wondering what they were, by whom originated, and
on what foundations raised, and how they could the most effectually be silenced
or disproved.
A few days
after this we had another of our quiet little parties, to which the usual
company of friends and neighbours had been invited, and Mrs. Graham among the
number. She could not now absent herself under the plea of dark evenings
or inclement weather, and, greatly to my relief, she came. Without her I
should have found the whole affair an intolerable bore; but the moment of her
arrival brought new life to the house, and though I might not neglect the other
guests for her, or expect to engross much of her attention and conversation to
myself alone, I anticipated an evening of no common enjoyment.
Mr.
Lawrence came too. He did not arrive till some time after the rest were
assembled. I was curious to see how he would comport himself to Mrs.
Graham. A slight bow was all that passed between them on his entrance;
and having politely greeted the other members of the company, he seated himself
quite aloof from the young widow, between my mother and Rose.
‘Did you
ever see such art?’ whispered Eliza, who was my nearest neighbour. ‘Would
you not say they were perfect strangers?’
‘Almost;
but what then?’
‘What
then; why, you can’t pretend to be ignorant?’
‘Ignorant
of what?’ demanded I, so sharply that she started and replied,—
‘Oh, hush!
don’t speak so loud.’
‘Well,
tell me then,’ I answered in a lower tone, ‘what is it you mean? I hate
enigmas.’
‘Well, you
know, I don’t vouch for the truth of it—indeed, far from it—but haven’t you
heard—?’
‘I’ve heard
nothing, except from you.’
‘You must
be wilfully deaf then, for anyone will tell you that; but I shall only anger
you by repeating it, I see, so I had better hold my tongue.’
She closed
her lips and folded her hands before her, with an air of injured meekness.
‘If you
had wished not to anger me, you should have held your tongue from the
beginning, or else spoken out plainly and honestly all you had to say.’
She turned
aside her face, pulled out her handkerchief, rose, and went to the window, where
she stood for some time, evidently dissolved in tears. I was astounded,
provoked, ashamed—not so much of my harshness as for her childish
weakness. However, no one seemed to notice her, and shortly after we were
summoned to the tea-table: in those parts it was customary to sit to the table
at tea-time on all occasions, and make a meal of it, for we dined early.
On taking my seat, I had Rose on one side of me and an empty chair on the
other.
‘May I sit
by you?’ said a soft voice at my elbow.
‘If you
like,’ was the reply; and Eliza slipped into the vacant chair; then, looking up
in my face with a half-sad, half-playful smile, she whispered,—‘You’re so
stern, Gilbert.’
I handed
down her tea with a slightly contemptuous smile, and said nothing, for I had
nothing to say.
‘What have
I done to offend you?’ said she, more plaintively. ‘I wish I knew.’
‘Come,
take your tea, Eliza, and don’t be foolish,’ responded I, handing her the sugar
and cream.
Just then
there arose a slight commotion on the other side of me, occasioned by Miss
Wilson’s coming to negotiate an exchange of seats with Rose.
‘Will you
be so good as to exchange places with me, Miss Markham?’ said she; ‘for I don’t
like to sit by Mrs. Graham. If your mamma thinks proper to invite such persons
to her house, she cannot object to her daughter’s keeping company with them.’
This
latter clause was added in a sort of soliloquy when Rose was gone; but I was
not polite enough to let it pass.
‘Will you
be so good as to tell me what you mean, Miss Wilson?’ said I.
The
question startled her a little, but not much.
‘Why, Mr.
Markham,’ replied she, coolly, having quickly recovered her self-possession,
‘it surprises me rather that Mrs. Markham should invite such a person as Mrs.
Graham to her house; but, perhaps, she is not aware that the lady’s character
is considered scarcely respectable.’
‘She is
not, nor am I; and therefore you would oblige me by explaining your meaning a
little further.’
‘This is
scarcely the time or the place for such explanations; but I think you can
hardly be so ignorant as you pretend—you must know her as well as I do.’
‘I think I
do, perhaps a little better; and therefore, if you will inform me what you have
heard or imagined against her, I shall, perhaps, be able to set you right.’
‘Can you
tell me, then, who was her husband, or if she ever had any?’
Indignation
kept me silent. At such a time and place I could not trust myself to
answer.
‘Have you
never observed,’ said Eliza, ‘what a striking likeness there is between that
child of hers and—’
‘And
whom?’ demanded Miss Wilson, with an air of cold, but keen severity.
Eliza was
startled; the timidly spoken suggestion had been intended for my ear alone.
‘Oh, I beg
your pardon!’ pleaded she; ‘I may be mistaken—perhaps I was mistaken.’
But she accompanied the words with a sly glance of derision directed to me from
the corner of her disingenuous eye.
‘There’s
no need to ask my pardon,’ replied her friend, ‘but I see no one here that at
all resembles that child, except his mother, and when you hear ill-natured
reports, Miss Eliza, I will thank you, that is, I think you will do well, to
refrain from repeating them. I presume the person you allude to is Mr.
Lawrence; but I think I can assure you that your suspicions, in that respect,
are utterly misplaced; and if he has any particular connection with the lady at
all (which no one has a right to assert), at least he has (what cannot be said
of some others) sufficient sense of propriety to withhold him from acknowledging
anything more than a bowing acquaintance in the presence of respectable
persons; he was evidently both surprised and annoyed to find her here.’
‘Go it!’
cried Fergus, who sat on the other side of Eliza, and was the only individual
who shared that side of the table with us. ‘Go it like bricks! mind you
don’t leave her one stone upon another.’
Miss
Wilson drew herself up with a look of freezing scorn, but said nothing.
Eliza would have replied, but I interrupted her by saying as calmly as I could,
though in a tone which betrayed, no doubt, some little of what I felt
within,—‘We have had enough of this subject; if we can only speak to slander
our betters, let us hold our tongues.’
‘I think
you’d better,’ observed Fergus, ‘and so does our good parson; he has been
addressing the company in his richest vein all the while, and eyeing you, from
time to time, with looks of stern distaste, while you sat there, irreverently
whispering and muttering together; and once he paused in the middle of a story
or a sermon, I don’t know which, and fixed his eyes upon you, Gilbert, as much
as to say, “When Mr. Markham has done flirting with those two ladies I will
proceed.”’
What more
was said at the tea-table I cannot tell, nor how I found patience to sit till
the meal was over. I remember, however, that I swallowed with difficulty
the remainder of the tea that was in my cup, and ate nothing; and that the
first thing I did was to stare at Arthur Graham, who sat beside his mother on
the opposite side of the table, and the second to stare at Mr. Lawrence, who
sat below; and, first, it struck me that there was a likeness; but, on further
contemplation, I concluded it was only in imagination.
Both, it
is true, had more delicate features and smaller bones than commonly fall to the
lot of individuals of the rougher sex, and Lawrence’s complexion was pale and
clear, and Arthur’s delicately fair; but Arthur’s tiny, somewhat snubby nose
could never become so long and straight as Mr. Lawrence’s; and the outline of
his face, though not full enough to be round, and too finely converging to the
small, dimpled chin to be square, could never be drawn out to the long oval of
the other’s, while the child’s hair was evidently of a lighter, warmer tint
than the elder gentleman’s had ever been, and his large, clear blue eyes,
though prematurely serious at times, were utterly dissimilar to the shy hazel
eyes of Mr. Lawrence, whence the sensitive soul looked so distrustfully forth,
as ever ready to retire within, from the offences of a too rude, too
uncongenial world. Wretch that I was to harbour that detestable idea for
a moment! Did I not know Mrs. Graham? Had I not seen her, conversed
with her time after time? Was I not certain that she, in intellect, in
purity and elevation of soul, was immeasurably superior to any of her
detractors; that she was, in fact, the noblest, the most adorable, of her sex I
had ever beheld, or even imagined to exist? Yes, and I would say with
Mary Millward (sensible girl as she was), that if all the parish, ay, or all
the world, should din these horrible lies in my ears, I would not believe them,
for I knew her better than they.
Meantime,
my brain was on fire with indignation, and my heart seemed ready to burst from
its prison with conflicting passions. I regarded my two fair neighbours
with a feeling of abhorrence and loathing I scarcely endeavoured to
conceal. I was rallied from several quarters for my abstraction and
ungallant neglect of the ladies; but I cared little for that: all I cared
about, besides that one grand subject of my thoughts, was to see the cups
travel up to the tea-tray, and not come down again. I thought Mr.
Millward never would cease telling us that he was no tea-drinker, and that it
was highly injurious to keep loading the stomach with slops to the exclusion of
more wholesome sustenance, and so give himself time to finish his fourth cup.
At length
it was over; and I rose and left the table and the guests without a word of
apology—I could endure their company no longer. I rushed out to cool my
brain in the balmy evening air, and to compose my mind or indulge my passionate
thoughts in the solitude of the garden.
To avoid
being seen from the windows I went down a quiet little avenue that skirted one
side of the inclosure, at the bottom of which was a seat embowered in roses and
honeysuckles. Here I sat down to think over the virtues and wrongs of the
lady of Wildfell Hall; but I had not been so occupied two minutes, before
voices and laughter, and glimpses of moving objects through the trees, informed
me that the whole company had turned out to take an airing in the garden
too. However, I nestled up in a corner of the bower, and hoped to retain
possession of it, secure alike from observation and intrusion. But
no—confound it—there was some one coming down the avenue! Why couldn’t
they enjoy the flowers and sunshine of the open garden, and leave that sunless
nook to me, and the gnats and midges?
But,
peeping through my fragrant screen of the interwoven branches to discover who
the intruders were (for a murmur of voices told me it was more than one), my
vexation instantly subsided, and far other feelings agitated my still unquiet
soul; for there was Mrs. Graham, slowly moving down the walk with Arthur by her
side, and no one else. Why were they alone? Had the poison of
detracting tongues already spread through all; and had they all turned their
backs upon her? I now recollected having seen Mrs. Wilson, in the early
part of the evening, edging her chair close up to my mother, and bending
forward, evidently in the delivery of some important confidential intelligence;
and from the incessant wagging of her head, the frequent distortions of her
wrinkled physiognomy, and the winking and malicious twinkle of her little ugly
eyes, I judged it was some spicy piece of scandal that engaged her powers; and
from the cautious privacy of the communication I supposed some person then
present was the luckless object of her calumnies: and from all these tokens,
together with my mother’s looks and gestures of mingled horror and incredulity,
I now concluded that object to have been Mrs. Graham. I did not emerge
from my place of concealment till she had nearly reached the bottom of the
walk, lest my appearance should drive her away; and when I did step forward she
stood still and seemed inclined to turn back as it was.
‘Oh, don’t
let us disturb you, Mr. Markham!’ said she. ‘We came here to seek
retirement ourselves, not to intrude on your seclusion.’
‘I am no
hermit, Mrs. Graham—though I own it looks rather like it to absent myself in
this uncourteous fashion from my guests.’
‘I feared
you were unwell,’ said she, with a look of real concern.
‘I was
rather, but it’s over now. Do sit here a little and rest, and tell me how
you like this arbour,’ said I, and, lifting Arthur by the shoulders, I planted
him in the middle of the seat by way of securing his mamma, who, acknowledging
it to be a tempting place of refuge, threw herself back in one corner, while I
took possession of the other.
But that
word refuge disturbed me. Had their unkindness then really driven her to
seek for peace in solitude?
‘Why have
they left you alone?’ I asked.
‘It is I
who have left them,’ was the smiling rejoinder. ‘I was wearied to death
with small talk—nothing wears me out like that. I cannot imagine how they
can go on as they do.’
I could
not help smiling at the serious depth of her wonderment.
‘Is it
that they think it a duty to be continually talking,’ pursued she: ‘and so
never pause to think, but fill up with aimless trifles and vain repetitions
when subjects of real interest fail to present themselves, or do they really
take a pleasure in such discourse?’
‘Very
likely they do,’ said I; ‘their shallow minds can hold no great ideas, and
their light heads are carried away by trivialities that would not move a
better-furnished skull; and their only alternative to such discourse is to
plunge over head and ears into the slough of scandal—which is their chief
delight.’
‘Not all
of them, surely?’ cried the lady, astonished at the bitterness of my remark.
‘No,
certainly; I exonerate my sister from such degraded tastes, and my mother too,
if you included her in your animadversions.’
‘I meant
no animadversions against any one, and certainly intended no disrespectful
allusions to your mother. I have known some sensible persons great adepts
in that style of conversation when circumstances impelled them to it; but it is
a gift I cannot boast the possession of. I kept up my attention on this
occasion as long as I could, but when my powers were exhausted I stole away to
seek a few minutes’ repose in this quiet walk. I hate talking where there
is no exchange of ideas or sentiments, and no good given or received.’
‘Well,’
said I, ‘if ever I trouble you with my loquacity, tell me so at once, and I
promise not to be offended; for I possess the faculty of enjoying the company
of those I—of my friends as well in silence as in conversation.’
‘I don’t
quite believe you; but if it were so you would exactly suit me for a
companion.’
‘I am all
you wish, then, in other respects?’
‘No, I
don’t mean that. How beautiful those little clusters of foliage look,
where the sun comes through behind them!’ said she, on purpose to change the
subject.
And they
did look beautiful, where at intervals the level rays of the sun penetrating
the thickness of trees and shrubs on the opposite side of the path before us,
relieved their dusky verdure by displaying patches of semi-transparent leaves
of resplendent golden green.
‘I almost
wish I were not a painter,’ observed my companion.
‘Why so?
one would think at such a time you would most exult in your privilege of being
able to imitate the various brilliant and delightful touches of nature.’
‘No; for
instead of delivering myself up to the full enjoyment of them as others do, I
am always troubling my head about how I could produce the same effect upon
canvas; and as that can never be done, it is mere vanity and vexation of spirit.’
‘Perhaps
you cannot do it to satisfy yourself, but you may and do succeed in delighting
others with the result of your endeavours.’
‘Well,
after all, I should not complain: perhaps few people gain their livelihood with
so much pleasure in their toil as I do. Here is some one coming.’
She seemed
vexed at the interruption.
‘It is
only Mr. Lawrence and Miss Wilson,’ said I, ‘coming to enjoy a quiet
stroll. They will not disturb us.’
I could
not quite decipher the expression of her face; but I was satisfied there was no
jealousy therein. What business had I to look for it?
‘What sort
of a person is Miss Wilson?’ she asked.
‘She is
elegant and accomplished above the generality of her birth and station; and
some say she is ladylike and agreeable.’
‘I thought
her somewhat frigid and rather supercilious in her manner to-day.’
‘Very
likely she might be so to you. She has possibly taken a prejudice against
you, for I think she regards you in the light of a rival.’
‘Me!
Impossible, Mr. Markham!’ said she, evidently astonished and annoyed.
‘Well, I
know nothing about it,’ returned I, rather doggedly; for I thought her
annoyance was chiefly against myself.
The pair
had now approached within a few paces of us. Our arbour was set snugly
back in a corner, before which the avenue at its termination turned off into
the more airy walk along the bottom of the garden. As they approached
this, I saw, by the aspect of Jane Wilson, that she was directing her
companion’s attention to us; and, as well by her cold, sarcastic smile as by
the few isolated words of her discourse that reached me, I knew full well that
she was impressing him with the idea, that we were strongly attached to each
other. I noticed that he coloured up to the temples, gave us one furtive
glance in passing, and walked on, looking grave, but seemingly offering no
reply to her remarks.
It was
true, then, that he had some designs upon Mrs. Graham; and, were they
honourable, he would not be so anxious to conceal them. She was
blameless, of course, but he was detestable beyond all count.
While
these thoughts flashed through my mind, my companion abruptly rose, and calling
her son, said they would now go in quest of the company, and departed up the
avenue. Doubtless she had heard or guessed something of Miss Wilson’s
remarks, and therefore it was natural enough she should choose to continue the tête-à-tête
no longer, especially as at that moment my cheeks were burning with indignation
against my former friend, the token of which she might mistake for a blush of
stupid embarrassment. For this I owed Miss Wilson yet another grudge; and
still the more I thought upon her conduct the more I hated her.
It was
late in the evening before I joined the company. I found Mrs. Graham
already equipped for departure, and taking leave of the rest, who were now
returned to the house. I offered, nay, begged to accompany her
home. Mr. Lawrence was standing by at the time conversing with some one
else. He did not look at us, but, on hearing my earnest request, he
paused in the middle of a sentence to listen for her reply, and went on, with a
look of quiet satisfaction, the moment he found it was to be a denial.
A denial
it was, decided, though not unkind. She could not be persuaded to think
there was danger for herself or her child in traversing those lonely lanes and
fields without attendance. It was daylight still, and she should meet no
one; or if she did, the people were quiet and harmless she was well
assured. In fact, she would not hear of any one’s putting himself out of
the way to accompany her, though Fergus vouchsafed to offer his services in
case they should be more acceptable than mine, and my mother begged she might
send one of the farming-men to escort her.
When she
was gone the rest was all a blank or worse. Lawrence attempted to draw me
into conversation, but I snubbed him and went to another part of the
room. Shortly after the party broke up and he himself took leave.
When he came to me I was blind to his extended hand, and deaf to his good-night
till he repeated it a second time; and then, to get rid of him, I muttered an
inarticulate reply, accompanied by a sulky nod.
‘What is
the matter, Markham?’ whispered he.
I replied
by a wrathful and contemptuous stare.
‘Are you
angry because Mrs. Graham would not let you go home with her?’ he asked, with a
faint smile that nearly exasperated me beyond control.
But,
swallowing down all fiercer answers, I merely demanded,—‘What business is it of
yours?’
‘Why,
none,’ replied he with provoking quietness; ‘only,’—and he raised his eyes to
my face, and spoke with unusual solemnity,—‘only let me tell you, Markham, that
if you have any designs in that quarter, they will certainly fail; and it
grieves me to see you cherishing false hopes, and wasting your strength in
useless efforts, for—’
‘Hypocrite!’
I exclaimed; and he held his breath, and looked very blank, turned white about
the gills, and went away without another word.
I had
wounded him to the quick; and I was glad of it.
CHAPTER X
When all
were gone, I learnt that the vile slander had indeed been circulated throughout
the company, in the very presence of the victim. Rose, however, vowed she
did not and would not believe it, and my mother made the same declaration,
though not, I fear, with the same amount of real, unwavering incredulity.
It seemed to dwell continually on her mind, and she kept irritating me from
time to time by such expressions as—‘Dear, dear, who would have thought
it!—Well! I always thought there was something odd about her.—You see
what it is for women to affect to be different to other people.’ And once
it was,—‘I misdoubted that appearance of mystery from the very first—I thought
there would no good come of it; but this is a sad, sad business, to be sure!’
‘Why,
mother, you said you didn’t believe these tales,’ said Fergus.
‘No more I
do, my dear; but then, you know, there must be some foundation.’
‘The
foundation is in the wickedness and falsehood of the world,’ said I, ‘and in
the fact that Mr. Lawrence has been seen to go that way once or twice of an
evening—and the village gossips say he goes to pay his addresses to the strange
lady, and the scandal-mongers have greedily seized the rumour, to make it the
basis of their own infernal structure.’
‘Well,
but, Gilbert, there must be something in her manner to countenance such
reports.’
‘Did you
see anything in her manner?’
‘No,
certainly; but then, you know, I always said there was something strange about
her.’
I believe
it was on that very evening that I ventured on another invasion of Wildfell
Hall. From the time of our party, which was upwards of a week ago, I had
been making daily efforts to meet its mistress in her walks; and always
disappointed (she must have managed it so on purpose), had nightly kept revolving
in my mind some pretext for another call. At length I concluded that the
separation could be endured no longer (by this time, you will see, I was pretty
far gone); and, taking from the book-case an old volume that I thought she
might be interested in, though, from its unsightly and somewhat dilapidated
condition, I had not yet ventured to offer it for perusal, I hastened away,—but
not without sundry misgivings as to how she would receive me, or how I could
summon courage to present myself with so slight an excuse. But, perhaps,
I might see her in the field or the garden, and then there would be no great
difficulty: it was the formal knocking at the door, with the prospect of being
gravely ushered in by Rachel, to the presence of a surprised, uncordial mistress,
that so greatly disturbed me.
My wish,
however, was not gratified. Mrs. Graham herself was not to be seen; but
there was Arthur playing with his frolicsome little dog in the garden. I
looked over the gate and called him to me. He wanted me to come in; but I
told him I could not without his mother’s leave.
‘I’ll go
and ask her,’ said the child.
‘No, no,
Arthur, you mustn’t do that; but if she’s not engaged, just ask her to come
here a minute. Tell her I want to speak to her.’
He ran to
perform my bidding, and quickly returned with his mother. How lovely she
looked with her dark ringlets streaming in the light summer breeze, her fair
cheek slightly flushed, and her countenance radiant with smiles. Dear
Arthur! what did I not owe to you for this and every other happy meeting?
Through him I was at once delivered from all formality, and terror, and
constraint. In love affairs, there is no mediator like a merry,
simple-hearted child—ever ready to cement divided hearts, to span the unfriendly
gulf of custom, to melt the ice of cold reserve, and overthrow the separating
walls of dread formality and pride.
‘Well, Mr.
Markham, what is it?’ said the young mother, accosting me with a pleasant
smile.
‘I want
you to look at this book, and, if you please, to take it, and peruse it at your
leisure. I make no apology for calling you out on such a lovely evening,
though it be for a matter of no greater importance.’
‘Tell him
to come in, mamma,’ said Arthur.
‘Would you
like to come in?’ asked the lady.
‘Yes; I
should like to see your improvements in the garden.’
‘And how
your sister’s roots have prospered in my charge,’ added she, as she opened the
gate.
And we
sauntered through the garden, and talked of the flowers, the trees, and the
book, and then of other things. The evening was kind and genial, and so
was my companion. By degrees I waxed more warm and tender than, perhaps,
I had ever been before; but still I said nothing tangible, and she attempted no
repulse, until, in passing a moss rose-tree that I had brought her some weeks
since, in my sister’s name, she plucked a beautiful half-open bud and bade me
give it to Rose.
‘May I not
keep it myself?’ I asked.
‘No; but
here is another for you.’
Instead of
taking it quietly, I likewise took the hand that offered it, and looked into
her face. She let me hold it for a moment, and I saw a flash of ecstatic
brilliance in her eye, a glow of glad excitement on her face—I thought my hour
of victory was come—but instantly a painful recollection seemed to flash upon
her; a cloud of anguish darkened her brow, a marble paleness blanched her cheek
and lip; there seemed a moment of inward conflict, and, with a sudden effort,
she withdrew her hand, and retreated a step or two back.
‘Now, Mr.
Markham,’ said she, with a kind of desperate calmness, ‘I must tell you plainly
that I cannot do with this. I like your company, because I am alone here,
and your conversation pleases me more than that of any other person; but if you
cannot be content to regard me as a friend—a plain, cold, motherly, or sisterly
friend—I must beg you to leave me now, and let me alone hereafter: in fact, we
must be strangers for the future.’
‘I will,
then—be your friend, or brother, or anything you wish, if you will only let me
continue to see you; but tell me why I cannot be anything more?’
There was
a perplexed and thoughtful pause.
‘Is it in
consequence of some rash vow?’
‘It is
something of the kind,’ she answered. ‘Some day I may tell you, but at
present you had better leave me; and never, Gilbert, put me to the painful
necessity of repeating what I have just now said to you,’ she earnestly added,
giving me her hand in serious kindness. How sweet, how musical my own
name sounded in her mouth!
‘I will
not,’ I replied. ‘But you pardon this offence?’
‘On
condition that you never repeat it.’
‘And may I
come to see you now and then?’
‘Perhaps—occasionally;
provided you never abuse the privilege.’
‘I make no
empty promises, but you shall see.’
‘The
moment you do our intimacy is at an end, that’s all.’
‘And will
you always call me Gilbert? It sounds more sisterly, and it will serve to
remind me of our contract.’
She
smiled, and once more bid me go; and at length I judged it prudent to obey, and
she re-entered the house and I went down the hill. But as I went the
tramp of horses’ hoofs fell on my ear, and broke the stillness of the dewy
evening; and, looking towards the lane, I saw a solitary equestrian coming
up. Inclining to dusk as it was, I knew him at a glance: it was Mr.
Lawrence on his grey pony. I flew across the field, leaped the stone
fence, and then walked down the lane to meet him. On seeing me, he
suddenly drew in his little steed, and seemed inclined to turn back, but on
second thought apparently judged it better to continue his course as
before. He accosted me with a slight bow, and, edging close to the wall,
endeavoured to pass on; but I was not so minded. Seizing his horse by the
bridle, I exclaimed,—‘Now, Lawrence, I will have this mystery explained!
Tell me where you are going, and what you mean to do—at once, and distinctly!’
‘Will you
take your hand off the bridle?’ said he, quietly—‘you’re hurting my pony’s
mouth.’
‘You and
your pony be—’
‘What
makes you so coarse and brutal, Markham? I’m quite ashamed of you.’
‘You
answer my questions—before you leave this spot I will know what you mean by
this perfidious duplicity!’
‘I shall
answer no questions till you let go the bridle,—if you stand till morning.’
‘Now
then,’ said I, unclosing my hand, but still standing before him.
‘Ask me
some other time, when you can speak like a gentleman,’ returned he, and he made
an effort to pass me again; but I quickly re-captured the pony, scarce less
astonished than its master at such uncivil usage.
‘Really,
Mr. Markham, this is too much!’ said the latter. ‘Can I not go to see my
tenant on matters of business, without being assaulted in this manner by—?’
‘This is
no time for business, sir!—I’ll tell you, now, what I think of your conduct.’
‘You’d
better defer your opinion to a more convenient season,’ interrupted he in a low
tone—‘here’s the vicar.’ And, in truth, the vicar was just behind me,
plodding homeward from some remote corner of his parish. I immediately
released the squire; and he went on his way, saluting Mr. Millward as he
passed.
‘What!
quarrelling, Markham?’ cried the latter, addressing himself to me,—‘and about
that young widow, I doubt?’ he added, reproachfully shaking his head.
‘But let me tell you, young man’ (here he put his face into mine with an important,
confidential air), ‘she’s not worth it!’ and he confirmed the assertion by a
solemn nod.
‘Mr. Millward,’ I exclaimed, in a tone of wrathful menace that made
the reverend gentleman look round—aghast—astounded at such unwonted insolence,
and stare me in the face, with a look that plainly said, ‘What, this to
me!’ But I was too indignant to apologise, or to speak another word to
him: I turned away, and hastened homewards, descending with rapid strides the
steep, rough lane, and leaving him to follow as he pleased.
To be continued